From Hell to Heaven
by Terez
Summary: Exploration of Jasper's time with Maria to when he meets Alice
1. Hell

**Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Stephine Meyer no copyright infringement is intended.

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**Welcome to Hell**

Jasper lay on the dirt clad ground his body feeling tired and powerful all at once though his mind would not stop racing. The fire in his body had subsided years, moths, days, hours, minutes ago he could not be sure and had been certain it would never end. He was certain the memory would stay with him forever. He had remembered wanting to claw at his own skin in an effort to relive the burning, though he had found he could not move, making him panic and claustrophobic. He settled for screaming at the top of his lungs until his voice had gone horse then disappeared all together, as he allowed his tears to stream down his face freely. Pain was almost a constant friend in his life but this had been excruciating.

He sat up slowly expecting the world to spin, instead he felt as if he was truly seeing it for the first time. Despite the fact that there was no light in the room he had no trouble seeing. The whole room was made of dirt three of the walls were composed of dirt and rocks, while the fourth appeared to made out of some type of metal with a door, leading him to believe he was underground. He leaned forward placing his hands on the ground to stand, his eyes widening in shock when he caught sight of the deathly pale skin.

He stared at his hand in shock refusing to believe it was his. It shook as he lifted it slowly off the ground looking it over with panicked eyes. He closed his eyes in an effort to calm himself then found it odd when he could not feel his heart pounding in his chest, as it should have been. He reached up with his bone white hand and pressed it to his pulse in his neck, shifting his fingers around when he could not find it.

Letting out a breath he had not realized he had been holding since he sat up, he then breathed in through his nose, his hand locking around his throat when it blazed, feeling as if he was swallowing broken glass. His head then snapped up when a sweet sent filled the air causing every sense to go on high alert and his throat only to burn more. He flew up-far faster than he would have thought possible and had he not been so distracted by the smell he would have questioned it- and when he hit the half way point in the room two large figures slammed into him pinning him to the ground.

A snarl ripped from his chest as he struggled against the two men in vain. Their arms were locked like iron bars around his own driving him into the hard compact ground to hold him down. "My, my quite the spirit," the feminine voice sounded almost child like, but confident with a Spanish accent.

Jasper could not see her past the two hulking figures that held him, but something told him he knew exactly who it was. He could hear her walk forward and when she came into view his memory flooded back as recognition dawned on his face "you."

She gave him a large smile making him feel uncomfortable "Hello Jasper, I've brought something for you." she snapped her pale brown fingers, the noise ringing off like a gunshot causing another large male to walk into view. Jasper paid him no attention though; his eyes were trained to the soldier that he held.

"Ma--Major?" The soldier stammered as he starred wide-eyed. Jasper barley heard him past the pounding that had filled his ears.

Maria smirked slowly as she walked towards the soldier smiling at him seductively as she trailed a finger down his cheek. She then leaned forward biting into his soft skin with her sharp teeth spilling ruby red liquid down his neck. Jasper felt his whole body tense, his throat burned as the sent wafted through the room. Maria moaned in satisfaction as the blood continued to flow causing Jasper to jerk, snarl, hiss and snap his teeth in an effort to get free.

After sucking the blood out and licking off the blood that had spilled onto his neck she released the body, letting it drop to a heap on the floor. She turned to give Jasper a bloody smile and leaned in over him as he still straggled. She reached out wrapping her hand around his throat in an unyielding grip cutting off his air supply. "I am the one in control, always," she then kissed him firmly staining his lips with blood. She released him as she stepped away walked and walked out the the room with other trailing after her.

Jasper moved across the room and preceded to shred the body licking at the insides to get the small traces of blood that were still present. He even went as far as sucking on the blood stains on his shirt but it was not near enough. His throat burned far worse than before the slight tease driving him wild with desire as his body shook.

When it felt like centuries had pasted another smell filled the air almost as sweet as the sent of the solider. He could hear the pounding again, smell the sweat and almost taste the fear in the air. When the door opened Maria stood before him with a small Spanish boy to her left. Jasper thought the boy looked no older than five and could not shake the fear that had seeped into his bones.

"I've brought you something," Maria purred to him. She pushed the boy forward causing him to whimper and stumble. Jasper darted out catching the boy before he had a chance to hit the ground. He felt brittle bones snap like dry twigs under his hands but he paid it no attention as he reached up and sunk his teeth into the boy's neck.

When the blood hit his tongue his face scrunched in disgust, the blood was rancid, the boy was obviously ill. He pushed past it swallowing moth full after mouth full then far too soon there was nothing left. He dropped the body letting it fall to a heap at his feet. The burn in his throat that had subsided slightly was now an all-consuming fire again. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"It needs to be done," she turned leaving him again.

He shuffled over to a far corner in the room curling up into a tight ball. Over time his breathing picked up as his body shook. He started gagging but fought to keep it down. When it became too much he leaned forward supporting himself on his knees and one hand the other wrapped around his mid section. He dry heaved violently a few times squeezing his eyes shut in a vain effort to stay in control. After struggling with himself he finally caved to his bodies desire and threw up the spoiled blood. After puking a total of four times to get it all out he crawled away form the corner and settled himself into the other one.

More time pasted and when he heard the door open he lifted his head to see his two guards walk in as Maria stood outside the door in-between them. "Come," she said simply.

Jasper stood quickly, fearful of what she would do if he disobeyed. He walked through the doorway the two guards turning and flanking him as they followed him out. He kept a respectable distance between himself and Maria as he followed her through the underground tunnel. When they walked outside Jasper looked around at all of the vivid colors blown away by how much detail he could see. "Beautiful isn't?"

Jasper pulled his eyes from the sensory, giving her his full attention "Yes ma'am."

She smiled at him and then gave him a sorrowful look, her bottom lip pouting out "sadly my territory is not as large as it use to be."

Jasper cocked his head to the side, fighting the urge to comfort her "Territory?"

"Yes," she said wistfully "we have to protect it from those who wish to steal it from us and gain back what we have lost."

"From who?"

"Other vampires." Jasper shared at her in shock clearly too stunned to speak. "You will help me Jasper, wont you?" She asked in an incredibly small voice looking at him with wide almost frightened eyes. "I only wish to be left alone and keep what I have safe."

Jasper looked down at her and despite her earlier attitude he could not help seeing as a woman he was suppose to protect, he nodded his head causing her to smile brightly. She threw herself at him wrapping her arms around him hugging him tightly "thank you, thank you Jasper." Jasper did not respond the nagging pit in the bottom of his stomach was screaming that he had made a deal with the devil.

She pulled back from him still smiling "Come you must be thirsty." She took his hand leading him into the night. He was surprised at how fast they could move and effortlessly it was, he felt as if he could run for hours and never tire. they had located at couple of men and Maria wasted no time sinking her teeth into one of their necks filling herself on his blood. He felt every instinct take over and lunged at the other man shredding at his neck and shattering his bones in an effort to taste his blood. After gaining his fill he felt better though his throat still burned. He turned when he heard movement behind him watching Maria float through the empty streets like a phantom. "Wasn't that fun?"

He didn't agree though nodded nonetheless not wanting to upset her. She smiled and moved forward watching him from under her eyelashes. He suddenly felt lustful and when she leaned up pressing her lips to his urgently he found himself responding just as quickly. She nipped his lip causing him to hiss and pull back from the slight burn. Maria growled as she tangled her hands painfully in his hair and forced his mouth to hers. They eventually ended up on the ground with Maria sitting on him; neither were dressed. She remained in control the entire time, selflessly taking from him. Then he felt her teeth sink into his shoulder at a high moment of passion. He gritted his teeth as a hiss pushed through, though that only seemed to spur her on as she bit harder. He cried out as he grabbed a fist full of thick dark brown hair trying to get her to let go. When she finally did she looked down at him with lust filled eyes "I knew I was going to like you," she purred then slithered off his body. He sighed in relief then hissed and jerked when he felt teeth sink into his inner thigh.

He looked down at her, she licked her lips and simply said "You're mine." She then stood walking over to where his uniform and her dress been discarded. "Don't just lay there get dressed." She barked as she pulled her dress back on. He sat up and hissed in pain when he felt fire shoot through his shoulder and down his back. "You'll get use to that," Maria said with out a hint of concern.

He grunted as he pushed himself to his feet and bit back a whimper as his knee buckled. Once he was stable he supported most of his weight on his left side then got dressed. Maria walked off with powerful strides leaving Jasper to hobble behind her as he cradled the bite on his shoulder.

When they returned he could see the other two females and a small collection of males including the same two males who had been watching him. Nettie moved forward giving Maria a smile that made Jasper's skin crawl. She said something to Maria in Spanish causing her to turn slightly and look him over. He felt highly uncomfortable as her eyes roamed his body like she was looking over a piece of livestock. She seemed satisfied in what she saw and turned back to Nettie nodding. Nettie smiled brightly and cried "Excelente," with child like glee. She turned looking over her shoulder and called in a high-pitched voice "Roberto, Alexander."

Jasper's eyes moved over watching as two vampires from the group smiled and stated to walk over. Then they darted forward as the other males seemed to crackle with excitement causing Jasper to stare wide-eyed and he step sideways allowing one of them to blow past. He turned looking at the one to his back he watched, as he started moving to the right then Jasper whipped his head around to see the other moving to the left. He leaned back in a defensive position growling as they circled him swiveling his head back and forth to watch them both. The one to his left laughed causing his head to whip around.

"Look at him, Alexander, he thinks he stands a chance."

Alexander laughed, as he turned his bright eyes to Jasper that where shinning with excitement "perhaps we should teach him a lesson."

Then in a flurry of movement they were both on him. He struggled to keep up as snarls erupted from all three throats sounding more like a fight between three wild animals. After several minutes he managed to land a blow to one of them causing the other to sill in shock.

"Exelente," Maria cried as she hopped up and skipped over to Jasper throwing her arms around his neck. "You're perfect," she whispered excitedly.

Jasper swallowed thickly, his eyes burning with confusion at what he had gotten himself into.

His next few weeks seemed to pass in a blur. Maria had changed several other soldiers none of them were familiar to him. they had all been trained excessively until fighting was almost second nature, though this in itself seemed to pose a problem. Fights broke out often among their group with casualties  
at his own hand he discovered quickly he had a very short fuse with them. It was simply something he did not understand, he had never been the type to anger, lately though he noticed he had trouble with his emotions. Maria had been annoyed with the fact that she had to keep replacing her men but was pleased his abilities and animalistic tendencies.

Over time Maria had put him in charge of keeping their group all in order, in the hopes that the fighting would stop. He had not been too worried with his position in the group as a major during the war he was use to being in charge. It had worked like a charm and their numbers were finally able to grow. They all worked well together operating as a fine oiled machine making Maria excited at the thought of wining back her territory. He had been edger to please her and informed her when they were ready for battle. It had been a landslide of victory, their side had only lost four solders and the territory shifted hands without any notice.

Now it was several years later and he had lost himself, nothing more than an empty shell of the man he use to be.

He groaned as he pulled himself up off the old smelly feather pillow that really only had a handful of feathers left in it due to the hole in the side. His tired lifeless eyes lifted from the torn white mud and blood stained bedding traveling along the length of the room. This had become a ritual, some part of his mind hoping he would see something different, but the only thing that ever changed was the dead body lying on the floor.

His muscles tensed when he felt sharp nails drag down his side scrapping harshly over a fresh bite. He willed his body to relax and turned his head to the left to see Maria looking up at him with a smile. He did not know what it was but she always seemed happy around him despite the fact that her mood was known to sour quickly. He was edger to keep her happy though because as long as she was happy his life was better.

He was the longest solider and lover she had kept and was practically her second in command, at lest as much as she would let him. "I want Guadalupe," she purred as she continued to claw at his side her eyes shining with greed.

Jasper reached down pulling her hand from his side and brought it to his lips kissing the back of it. "Than Guadalupe you shall have," he whispered obediently. He dropped her hand and turned to get out of the bed leaning over and grabbing what was left of his clothes. He eyed them as he held up the shredded fabric; it was very common for his clothes to get destroyed.

He sighed as he dropped them to the floor and stood moving over to the dead body. The man was smaller than he was but that was typical. A large chunk of his throat was missing with his eyes wide open in shock, his last moments filled with nothing but pain.

Jasper reached down rolling him over; rigamortis had set so the body was stiff. Jasper simply reached down and broke his knees so they would bend then undid his pants pulling them off in one swift movement. He pulled them up his body trying to ignore that they were smaller than he had hoped then reached down breaking off the mans arms and head to remove his shirt. Once he pulled the shirt on he grabbed the body throwing it over his shoulder and picked up the body parts walking out to dispose of the body and win more territory.

He could never imagine he would find some shreds of his humanity when a new vampire had joined the ranks. Jasper could see that Peter did not have the heart of a fighter but had miraculously made it past his first year.

Then a few years later with the addition of several new vampires Peter had started disappearing for long periods of time. When he had sucked up enough courage to question him Peter only shrugged and said he had been hunting or babysitting the newborns. He had sensed that Peter was lying but for the sake of their friendship let it slid and never informed Maria of his disappearances.

It was not until about a year later that he grew suspensions of Peter again.

"We're purging, Maria has ordered that we keep no one." Jasper stated simply without any thought to those he was about to kill, he had done it so often that all it meant to him was another long night.

He could not begin to understand the look on his friends face when he heard their orders. Peter then began to plead with him to ask Maria to reconsider about a select few. This had confused him greatly, none of them stood out as exceptional fighters or even the potential to be of any benefit after their year mark.

"No, Peter," he said sternly "Maria was certain that everyone is to be kill."

"Please Jasper," he begged desperately as if his own life hung in the balance, his eyes wild with panic.

Jasper looked over at him trying to understand why he cared, the group was nothing special. "What is wrong with you?" he asked looking his friend over.

Peter seemed to realize he was going to get nowhere and shook his head "Nothing."

"Good, I don't need you losing it."

Peter smirked at his friend trying to appear at ease "well look I'm going to go hunt--"

"No," Jasper interrupted. "Maria wants us to do it now."

"Now?" Peter asked with a slight crack in his voice.

"Yes now. Why are you acting so weird?"

Peter forced a smile Jasper could tell it was completely faked. "I'm not," he said trying to sound confidant. "Just didn't think we had to do it so soon."

Jasper rolled his eyes as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his too small, torn and dirty jeans. "Whatever you say Peter."

They walked in silence collecting the newborns as they went as Jasper tried to ignore Peter's anxious behavior.

Once walking almost half a mile from their current inhabitant Jasper stopped and turned to face the group while Peter stood next to him looking down. Jasper growled softly in annoyance at Peter's behavior before addressing the group. They stood giving him their full attention, reminding him of lambs to the slaughter, innocent and naive to what fate had in store for them. "We're going to be going over new fighting techniques," he spoke calmly, the lie slipping easily from his lips. "We'll be out behind those rocks," he threw his thumb up over his shoulder pointing at the mound of boulders a quarter of a mile away from them; it gave perfect cover for what was about to happen. "We'll call you forward one at a time, Jared you're first." Without waiting to see if Jared would follow Jasper turned and ran through the empty desert with Peter following.

They both leapt effortlessly over the high wall of rock, landing lightly on the other side. They both turned together and watched as Jared flew over the wall landing just as lightly on the ground in front of them. They both lunged before he could even stand from his crouch, with in seconds he was dismembered.

As the list continued to get smaller Peter was wearing his nerves quickly. He shook his head trying to decide if he should just send him away. "Charlotte," he called, the moment her name left his mouth he was flooded with anger. His body went on high alert assessing Peter as a possible threat and prepared for an attack. Then just as quickly as his anger had appeared it washed away when Charlotte landed in front of them.

"Run Charlotte!" Peter shouted desperately. Without hesitation Charlotte turned and jumped back over the wall then Peter blew past him, following at her heels.

Jasper knew he could have perused and killed them but he found that the thought of killing Peter was not pleasant. Maria was far from pleased when she had learned of their escape, and had severely punished him.

Five years later and he was contemplating killing Maria. The survivor and fighter in him said it was the only way, that she would eventually kill him. He knew that time was not far off he had found her becoming to hate his company; he could barely remember a time when she had actually craved it. She had been God in his eyes, his only constant companion for his whole vampire existence; he knew nothing else. They had never had the strongest bond though; it had simply formed out of necessity.

He groaned in frustration as he fisted his hands in his dirty, tangled, blond hair. Pulling his knees up to his chest he rested his forehead on his knees as he contemplated all his life had become.

When he had ran away from home at seventeen he had foolishly thought joining the army would be great. He had bought into all the hype, sure he had had his beliefs, but they way they sold it had young boys lining up for the slaughter. He had thought if he was not killed he would come back a hero, marry a good woman, father some children, work on his family farm and then die surrounded by loved ones.

Instead he had died alone, without the memory of his family to keep him company as they faded away with time. He was certain he would never marry, convinced that no one could ever love him. Then had spent his whole life at war; he was ready for it all to end. though he was still not sure he could bring himself to kill Maria.

"Jasper,"

He lifted his head slowly at the sound of his name, wondering vaguely if it was possible to hallucinate, as the voice sounded like Peter. His eyes widened in shock when he saw Peter standing in front of him. "Peter?" he whispered as he closed his eyes and shook his head trying to will away what he believed was a hallucination and his mind was finally cracking.

"Jasper?"

"Go away," Jasper growled as he curled into himself.

"Jasper," Peter called worriedly.

Jasper flew up from the ground snarling angrily as he lunged, surprise coloring his face when he collided with a solid body. "Peter?" he said as his mind tried to process that Peter was really there.

Peter had braced himself and had griped Jasper's forearms trying to protect himself, staring him down with worried eyes. "What the hell?"

"What…what are you doing here?"

"We came back for you." Peter said with a small smile. "The north is amazing, Jasper," he said as his smile continued to grow. "We've met so many wonderful vampires, we don't have to fight for anything and we live in peace. We've been traveling, answering to no one but ourselves. We're truly free Jasper, it's world we could only dream of."

That was all it took, one conversation and he was leaving all he knew without a backwards glance.


	2. Road to a Better Life?

**Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Stephine Meyer no copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: So a reviewer requested that I continue this so I decided to extend this to when he meets Alice right before they find the Cullens.

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**Road to a better Life?**

Their feet pounded into the ground as they flew off into the night through the empty desert. Jasper could hardly believe this was happening, he was leaving everything he had known. Jasper felt as if he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs at the huge weight that had been lifted of his shoulders, he couldn't remember the last time he had felt so happy. Peter grinned back at him as they continued to run clearly aware of his change in mood. They both looked forward and Jasper could see Charlotte worrying her bottom lip before smiling softly and bolting towards them. She took a flying leap, launching herself into Peter's arms, who seemed to catch her without a second thought. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply on the lips.

Jasper was stunned by the kiss; it was nothing like the kisses he had received from Maria. Her kisses had been harsh, demanding and dominating and while Peter and Charlotte's kiss seemed desperate he could feel the love.

Pulling back they both smiled before Charlotte's eyes hardened as she reached up hitting him on the back of the head "I can't believe you talked me into waiting for you," she hissed angrily.

Peter chuckled as he kissed her cheek "you had nothing to worry about, no one saw us." She only continued to glare at him as a small smile crossed his face as. He chuckled again as he leaned in kissing her cheek again in an effort to turn her mood around. Her hard look melted away when he smiled at her again then he lowered her to the ground.

Jasper watched as Charlotte's eyes shifted over to him scanning the length of his body. He stood nervously as her eyes scrutinized him waiting for whatever judgment she was going to pass.

"Peter wouldn't stop talking about you," she said simply in a quiet voice. "He was very adamant that we come back for you," it was clear to him that she did not trust him.

He ducked his head to them, a clear sign of submission they would both understand. "Thank you," he said sincerely knowing that his words would never be enough. "I am indebted to you both." He glanced up without lifting his head to see Charlotte was watching him intently clearly still trying to decide if he was threat. Jasper knew he would have to work hard to gain her trust as he had been harsh and cold when it came to the newborns, as he believed that it was better to control with fear.

He breathed a sigh of relief when she seemed to come to the conclusion that for the moment he was not a threat and turned her attention to Peter. "We need to leave."

Peter nodded in agreement as he took her hand then turned and nodded his head north to Jasper before they both took off at a run. It was not long before Jasper noticed that they did not seem to have a decided path, everything seemed to be decided spur of the moment. After killing a man who had been hunting, while they cleaned off in the river Jasper could not help asking, "Peter were are we going?"

Peter looked up, watered down blood dripping from his mouth from where he had started washing. "What do you mean?"

"I mean what state, or city or town are we going to?"

Peter's eyes twinkled in excitement as he shrugged. "I don't know."

"Shouldn't we have a destination?" he questioned confusedly.

"Why?" Peter challenged with a large smile.

Jasper opened his mouth to respond and shut it when he realized he did not have an answer.

"That's the beauty of it Jasper," Peter said as he cupped his hands in the river and bringing water to his face to finish washing off the blood. "We don't _have_ to go anywhere."

Jasper sat for a moment letting the thought sink in. He started to laugh the sound rumbling from deep in his chest, a sound he had not heard in decades. Peter looked at him as if he was crazy but Jasper did not notice as he shot up from the riverbed leaping over the river and running into the forest because he could. Not because someone was chasing him or because Maria had ordered him to do something but simply because he could. He burst through the thick tress smiling when he came into a clearing. He closed his eyes as he breathed in through his nose smiling as the smells of the forest filled his nose; his moment of peace would not last long.

Weeks had passed and he found that his jubilant mood was souring quickly. They had just killed a family of five, a father, a mother, two sons and a daughter. They had been stunned speechless, lured in by their beauty, unaware that death followed at their heels. Their deaths had all be quick, but filled with terror. The children had watched their parents die before they too were met with same fate.

Jasper stared into the bathroom mirror trying to shake the memory of his latest kill, while his bright red eyes only made the memory more real. She had shrieked, her full-blown scream was cut off when he sank his teeth into her neck. She had tried to push him away as her whole body shook in fear, her pulse hammering away under his tongue. After a few mouth fulls of blood her hands slid from his chest as her whole body went limp and her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

He closed his eyes and shook his head as he tried to find a reason it would bother him. Peter and Charlotte never batted an eye when they killed and he had never given killing a thought until he had left the south. They both seemed at peace with their live style though he felt it was far from peaceful. They were still monsters, still killers; the only difference was they were no longer killing their own kind.

Jasper gripped the sink as he forced his eyes open, shuttering when the scars on his body seemed to scream out to him. In his mind he was the biggest monster. Maria had turned him into a complete killing machine, slaughtering humans, their enemies and then his own teammates. There had been time when had had worn his scars in pride, a clear sign of his power and skill; they had been a clear warning to his kind to stay away. Now they were his punishments, his sins, marked upon his skin for the world to see.

He pulled his eyes from the mirror landing on the pile of clothes that sat on the toilet. Reaching down he grabbed the pants and pulled them on. The father had been a large man so the pants were actually a bit baggy on him, which he was grateful for, as it meant they would last longer; tighter jeans tended to rip when he moved too quickly. He pulled the long sleeve shirt over his head trying to ignore the lingering smell of the man then turned and left the room without bothering to look himself over.

He moved lightly through the dark house (all the shutters were closed tightly) walking to the kitchen where he had last seen Peter and Charlotte. Pushing the door open he stilled in the doorway at what he saw. Charlotte was sitting on the counter top with Peter standing in front of her, their mouths fused together in a heated kiss. The dark blue dress she had either taken from the mother or the daughters' closet was sliding off her left shoulder. The hem of the dress was severely frayed with a large chunk of dark blue fabric at their feet and another strip of fabric tied around her waist; all modifications to help the dress fit her small frame.

He turned around walking back out of the kitchen knowing that their activities were not going to end with just a kiss. He wondered off into the living room glancing around at the small space uncertainly. When his eyes landed on a dark oak bookcase he moved through the room his eyes scanning the spins of the books. Their collection was very small and after one sweep of all the titles he pulled one at random moving over to the couch.

He attempted to read finding that his attention was focused on thoughts of the couple in the other room than the book. In all honesty he was becoming jealous of their relationship knowing it was something he would never have. It was not helping that he was constantly walking in on them, as they were still not use to having someone else with them as the last five years it had just been the two of them.

Almost an hour had past and Jasper had managed to read a few chapters, before Peter walked out of the kitchen and Charlotte disappeared into one of the bedrooms. Peter walked around the couch settling in next to Jasper. "What are you reading?" he asked looking over his shoulder at the book.

"Journey Into Fear. I was trying to give you two some privacy."

Peter smiled as he nudged his shoulder "you'll understand when you find your own mate."

Jasper snorted and looked over at him with unbelieving eyes. "No one is going to want me," he said without a hint of humor.

"Why do you say things like that?" Peter asked looking concerned.

"If they aren't disgusted by my appearance they'll be disgusted by the things I have done. I've sinned enough in my life Peter, the last thing I need to do is blacken the soul of a woman." He stood throwing the book onto the small table in front of the couch and started to walk away. He did not know what it was but his emotions seemed to be going haywire. He had his moments when was he fine but lately those moments were getting shorter and the time in between was getting longer.

"We need to dispose of the bodies," Charlotte said as she walked into the room. She stopped several feet from the couch eyeing both males "Am I interrupting something?" she asked Peter.

"No" said as he continued to watch Jasper then stood from the couch, moving to stand next to Charlotte. "You helping us Jasper?" he asked hesitantly not wanting to upset him more.

"Yes," Jasper mumbled as he turned and followed them to collect the bodies. Charlotte grabbed the two smaller boys while Peter threw the father and mother over each shoulder. Jasper scooped the daughter into his arms and walked over to Charlotte who was trying to figure out the best way to carry both boys. "I'll take one," he said as he started to shift the daughter so he could hold them both in a more dignified manner, but Charlotte did not give him the time and dumped the boy on top of his sister.

She turned sharply, her fair blond hair following the movement like a curtain of silk and trailed behind Peter out the front door. Jasper glanced down at the two bodies, closed his eyes and shook his head then followed them both out the door. The sky was lit red as the sun set in the horizon while they walked through the forest looking for an area to bury the bodies.

They stopped several yards from the house where there was a decent patch of flat ground to dig. Charlotte and Peter both dropped the bodying uncaringly on the ground then began to dig. Jasper grimaced down at the bodies lying like broken dolls in the dirt as he squatted down setting the girls' body on the ground then moving her brother off of her.

He spared one last glance then moved to help dig the hole. They dug the hole so it was about ten feet deep to accommodate the large family. Once the hole was dug they all jumped out, Peter walked over grabbing the man by the throat and chucking him into the hole. His body made a sickening crack when it collided with the side of the wall then crashed to the bottom. Charlotte was just as carless with the wife grabbing her by the arm and flinging her into the hole.

Jasper walked over and scooped up the daughter staring down at her pale face as he walked her to her grave. He turned stopping slowly flinching when the small boys flew into the hole smacking against the wall before tumbling down and landing in a mass of tangled limbs at the bottom. He sighed as he squatted down sliding her down as far as he could before letting her go.

"You okay?" Peter asked watching the act in confusion.

"Yes," Jasper said as he stood his eyes still trained on the hole.

Peter and Charlotte exchanged a look before walking over to the pile of dirt and began filling the hole. Jasper moved away as the hole began to fill and helped them cover the grave. Once it was filled they covered the ground with leaves and branches so it blended with the rest of the ground. Once the ground appeared to be undisturbed they fled off into the night.

Months later he felt as if his emotions were trying to tare him apart, all fleeting moments of contentment were gone. Two dead men lay at their feet, their blood drained bodies contrasting in the dark ally.

"Jasper?"

Jasper looked up at Peter from the ground, his red eyes shinning with guilt.

Peter watched his friend sympathetically "It seems to be worse after you feed,"

"I don't know what it is," Jasper said hoarsely. "I—I feel like I'm back at the time I was changed. The fear…I feel like it is suffocating me."

"So when you feed it brings back memories," Peter said trying to follow his train of thought.

"No," Jasper whispered. "It's like I can feel their fear."

"Feel their fear?" Peter asked in confusion. "That's not possible Jasper."

"I can't explain it any other way," he said tiredly as he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead into his knees.

"Okay," Peter said as he looked back a Charlotte in confusion.

"We could hunt for you Jasper," Charlotte said.

"Yes," Peter agreed with a smile as he turned back to Jasper "We'll hunt for you."

"No," Jasper said as he shook his head "the last thing you need to be doing it babysitting me."

"Jasper it's fine--"

"No!" Jasper snarled back, he did not like the idea of having to rely on them. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself down. "Look you guys don't need me tagging along anymore."

"Jasper," Peter started to protest.

"I need time alone," Jasper said as he pushed himself from the wall.

Peter looked like he was going to protest and looked back at Charlotte for suport. She shrugged her shoulders as she walked foreward linking her arm with his. "We can't force him to stay," she said softly.

He sighed as he turned back to Jasper and held his hand out to him "we'll be sad to see you go."

"Thank you for letting me travel with you," Jasper said as he shook his hand. He look down at Charlotte wishing he felt good enough to smile at her "I am glad I could earn your trust Charlotte."

"Take care of yourself Jasper," Charlotte said with small smile.

Jasper nodded as he walked around them, disaperaing off into the night.


End file.
